the Marathon of Emotions
Why that title? You ask.
It was only last Sunday when I parted with my camp life which I had been living with for the past two and a half months. Living behind all my dear friends, dorm mates, teachers and instructors alike, wasn’t easy, obviously. It was hard especially, to deal with the sudden change of environment. My mind was experiencing the inertia phenomenon, hesitating to let go of it’s attachments to my camp life. The sudden break from routine lifestyle was hard to accept.
Without mercy, the Board of Examinations decided to release the SPM 2006 results the very next day. I remember sitting on my study table that morning, thinking of all the things me and my friends did during NS while other 18 year-olds nationwide are struggling to pass time before the 10am results release. Little did I worry about the results which were coming out in a few hours. At that time, my mind was still drifting between camp and real life. I wasn’t ready to face the results. Not because I was afraid, but more of that I did not care.
Whatever will be, will be, I thought. I can’t even remember how I did in the exams, which subject I was initially worried for and which I was confident for and so on. I wasn’t until the moment my dad droved into the school gates, looking at the expressions of those walking out where I started to get nervous. I disembarked and walked boldly towards the moment of truth.
Nonetheless, I was satisfied with my results. Although they were not really up to the ‘I’ll get scholarships for sure!’ mark, it was already more than I had expected. Dad was OK with it, and mum, she even tried to console me in case I was dejected..!
So, I spent the rest of the day informing relatives and friends alike of my results, with routine replies of ‘Congrats!’ ‘Well done’ and whatnot. And also asking around my circle of friends for their results and plans ahead.
That afternoon itself, I flew to Kuala Lumpur to see mum before I could really analyse and think about my results. Yeah, I was glad to meet mum again, after three weeks. Relatives commented that I had put on a few more layers of tan, which I took as a compliment. While my lil cousins saw me as a huge soft toy, curiously stroking my shaved head.
And now, a week later, I’m back home. Life’s made a boring turn though. I called up my driving instructor this afternoon to arrange for my driving course, finally. As such, I will be attending some sort of driving class this Saturday after which, I’ll get to drive for the first time. After waiting for my birthday and later, National Service, I’m finally on my way for a driving license.
Until then, wish me luck!
Feed:
Speaking about results..
My friends and I already planned to go to school by a public cab to get our results. I told my mum about the plan a day before and she did something out of the norm, which was volunteering herself to drive me there. I do not want her to be involved in such situation to avoid some drama going on in the school. Finally she agreed on terms I sms my results once I received it. The next day, my friends and I was almost 2 hours late to school. When I saw my slip, I almost cried….well of dissapointment…. I aimed for straight As and well, my results clearly failed y expectations.
Then, my friends and I hung out in Mid Valley until 10pm. I just did everything to clear my mind from all this results havoc. I ate a lot on that day. Fried chicken, fries, coke, ice-cream (hell expensive from baskin robbins). All unhealthy food. Then I even watched Bridge to Terabithia in the cinema there. After all these, I just felt slightly better but god, IT’S TERRIBLE!!
Time to face the truth. When I came home, my mum asked about it, my sister, brother, relatives…. Just felt damn upset when I saw their dissapointed faces….. ” ah…all As but one C??” “what did you get for that solitary C” ” It’s not that bad, it’s only a C…..Think about all those As you get….” I hated it. That night I soaked my pillows until 3am.
Maybe it is already good but I had expected more. Honestly, I am no intelligent dude but I am hell lot hardworking than the others. Just see what I deserve for putting so much effort on my studies? A damn, insulting, ugly and hideous C. Goddamnit.
What is intelligent if scoring all A’s but missing out one isn’t? C’mon, its good and we all know it. Hey, at least you’re better off than me. =)
Anyway, if i were you, I’d put that behind and look forward, like everyone else would tell you to do. I didn’t plan on taking the results seriously anyway but thats just me.
Get yourself a clear road ahead and you can forget about your results, although I think it is to be proud of. XD good luck man!
Hey dude. I am perfectly okay now. Thanks for the concern anyway. And one thing is for sure…my results are nothing to be proud of. Because thousands of people out there are better than me. So, I don’t really care about it after quite some time. Convince me, I won’t die because of that right? Haha!!! Anyway I forgot to gongratulate you on your excellent performance in SPM. so, congrats!!
If you’d ask me, the reason I’m proud of my results is that efforts, my efforts, had been made to achieve it, not because how many thousands of people are better than me.
Thanks anyway. XD
HELLO!
sheng han ar…. dun show off
Ah hog ar.. I’m not showing off la. Which part of the post deserved that accusation?
ah hog?? who that and not me who say 1, is other person
Khing vui then. XD I know it’s you. I saw you typing this. In fact I’m looking you right now. Stop using Swinburne’s PC labs to search for my name. wuahaha. XD