the Marathon of Emotions

Why that title? You ask.

It was only last Sun­day when I parted with my camp life which I had been liv­ing with for the past two and a half months. Liv­ing behind all my dear friends, dorm mates, teach­ers and instruc­tors alike, wasn’t easy, obvi­ously. It was hard espe­cially, to deal with the sud­den change of envi­ron­ment. My mind was expe­ri­enc­ing the iner­tia phe­nom­e­non, hes­i­tat­ing to let go of it’s attach­ments to my camp life. The sud­den break from rou­tine lifestyle was hard to accept.

With­out mercy, the Board of Exam­i­na­tions decided to release the SPM 2006 results the very next day. I remem­ber sit­ting on my study table that morn­ing, think­ing of all the things me and my friends did dur­ing NS while other 18 year-olds nation­wide are strug­gling to pass time before the 10am results release. Lit­tle did I worry about the results which were com­ing out in a few hours. At that time, my mind was still drift­ing between camp and real life. I wasn’t ready to face the results. Not because I was afraid, but more of that I did not care.

What­ever will be, will be, I thought. I can’t even remem­ber how I did in the exams, which sub­ject I was ini­tially wor­ried for and which I was con­fi­dent for and so on. I wasn’t until the moment my dad droved into the school gates, look­ing at the expres­sions of those walk­ing out where I started to get ner­vous. I dis­em­barked and walked boldly towards the moment of truth.

Nonethe­less, I was sat­is­fied with my results. Although they were not really up to the ‘I’ll get schol­ar­ships for sure!’ mark, it was already more than I had expected. Dad was OK with it, and mum, she even tried to con­sole me in case I was dejected..!

So, I spent the rest of the day inform­ing rel­a­tives and friends alike of my results, with rou­tine replies of ‘Con­grats!’ ‘Well done’ and what­not. And also ask­ing around my cir­cle of friends for their results and plans ahead.

That after­noon itself, I flew to Kuala Lumpur to see mum before I could really analyse and think about my results. Yeah, I was glad to meet mum again, after three weeks. Rel­a­tives com­mented that I had put on a few more lay­ers of tan, which I took as a com­pli­ment. While my lil cousins saw me as a huge soft toy, curi­ously stroking my shaved head.

And now, a week later, I’m back home. Life’s made a bor­ing turn though. I called up my dri­ving instruc­tor this after­noon to arrange for my dri­ving course, finally. As such, I will be attend­ing some sort of dri­ving class this Sat­ur­day after which, I’ll get to drive for the first time. After wait­ing for my birth­day and later, National Ser­vice, I’m finally on my way for a dri­ving license.

Until then, wish me luck!

9 thoughts on “the Marathon of Emotions”

  1. Hui Ting from Kay Eal

    Speak­ing about results..
    My friends and I already planned to go to school by a pub­lic cab to get our results. I told my mum about the plan a day before and she did some­thing out of the norm, which was vol­un­teer­ing her­self to drive me there. I do not want her to be involved in such sit­u­a­tion to avoid some drama going on in the school. Finally she agreed on terms I sms my results once I received it. The next day, my friends and I was almost 2 hours late to school. When I saw my slip, I almost cried.…well of dis­s­a­point­ment.… I aimed for straight As and well, my results clearly failed y expec­ta­tions.
    Then, my friends and I hung out in Mid Val­ley until 10pm. I just did every­thing to clear my mind from all this results havoc. I ate a lot on that day. Fried chicken, fries, coke, ice-cream (hell expen­sive from baskin rob­bins). All unhealthy food. Then I even watched Bridge to Ter­abithia in the cin­ema there. After all these, I just felt slightly bet­ter but god, IT’S TERRIBLE!!
    Time to face the truth. When I came home, my mum asked about it, my sis­ter, brother, rel­a­tives.… Just felt damn upset when I saw their dis­s­a­pointed faces.…. ” ah…all As but one C??” “what did you get for that soli­tary C” ” It’s not that bad, it’s only a C.….Think about all those As you get.…” I hated it. That night I soaked my pil­lows until 3am.
    Maybe it is already good but I had expected more. Hon­estly, I am no intel­li­gent dude but I am hell lot hard­work­ing than the oth­ers. Just see what I deserve for putting so much effort on my stud­ies? A damn, insult­ing, ugly and hideous C. Goddamnit.

  2. ember

    What is intel­li­gent if scor­ing all A’s but miss­ing out one isn’t? C’mon, its good and we all know it. Hey, at least you’re bet­ter off than me. =)

    Any­way, if i were you, I’d put that behind and look for­ward, like every­one else would tell you to do. I didn’t plan on tak­ing the results seri­ously any­way but thats just me.

    Get your­self a clear road ahead and you can for­get about your results, although I think it is to be proud of. XD good luck man!

  3. Hui Ting from Kay Eal

    Hey dude. I am per­fectly okay now. Thanks for the con­cern any­way. And one thing is for sure…my results are noth­ing to be proud of. Because thou­sands of peo­ple out there are bet­ter than me. So, I don’t really care about it after quite some time. Con­vince me, I won’t die because of that right? Haha!!! Any­way I for­got to gongrat­u­late you on your excel­lent per­for­mance in SPM. so, congrats!!

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