KUCHING: Tomorrow marks the beginning of the week-long finals battle between Swinburne foundation students and test papers.
On the front lines, we have Academic Writing and Engineering Math. While Academic Writing might pose a rather easy target, analysts say, the stronghold of Engineering Math is deemed to bring a tough fight. Confidence, however, of winning the Engineering Math battle are sailing high.
“We will definitely nail Engineering Math,” pledges an optimistic student.
Forces on the other side, however, were equally motivated for victory. “They have no idea of what will they be facing,” warns an anonymous test paper who only wants to be identified as ‘Engineering Math’, adding, “They will not be prepared for what we have in store for them.”
The sound of rustling papers fills the scene here at the Ground Floor Auditorium of Swinburne’s main block, where tomorrow’s battles are expected to take place, as test papers make their final preparations.
Meanwhile, students back in their respective bases are also running through test-runs on their ultimate weapon against the test papers, the calculator, dubbed — the mother of all weapons. In this semester’s battle, two major variants of calculators are expected to be seen in the battlefield, the generic Casio Fx-570 and its elder brother, the invincible TI-84 graphical calculator, designed to penetrate the heaviest defences the test papers might have in place.
While the students cheer on, brandishing their ‘mother of all weapons’, the test papers look on over the horizon without the slightest tinge of fear. Preliminary intelligence reports indicate that the test papers might just have created their best defence system yet — known as the BCIAD (Bloody Complex Integrals and Differentials) which, some weapons experts argue, might just render the TI-84 useless.
On how these weapon systems would fare against each other, only time will tell.
All eyes of the world, however, are on Friday’s battle of Physics B. Some call it the climax of the war.
“It is suicide,” a student gravely recalls, “only a few have ever survived that dreaded battle.”
The world looks on.
ember is a veteran battlefield reporter who is currently dispatched on-scene at Swinburne’s Ground Floor auditorium. He has previously made coverage possible in notable battlefields such as the great 2006 SPM battle and the 2004 PMR war. His vast experience in covering live reports from battlefields makes him our best war correspondent yet.